Older Adults Who Chose Not To Get Married Are Revealing What Their Lives Are Actually Like, And It’s Eye-Opening

“I’m 79, and I have been married twice. I grew out of the marriage each time. I love my independence and being single, and I would NEVER get married again.”...READ ORIGINAL & FULL CONTENT FROM SOURCE | READ ORIGINAL & FULL CONTENT FROM SOURCE...

A while back, we wrote a post where older adults who never got married revealed what their lives are actually like. In the comments, previously married and never-married older adults revealed why they chose to remain single later in life. Here are their eye-opening responses:

1. “I got married at 25 and separated after 23 years. For the last 10 years, we were married just on paper only. I was the breadwinner, and she couldn’t hold on to a job. We agreed not to fight through the kids, and I held up my end of the bargain. She always felt entitled to everything and still does. I haven’t spoken to my daughter in 15 years and speak to my son once or twice a year. I’ve been encouraged to ‘find someone,’ but honestly, I feel better alone.”

“I have my little dog, who loves me unconditionally. I can now travel, have hobbies, and feel free. I gave into the pressure to marry in the past, but now I prioritize my happiness over everyone else’s!”

—Anonymous, 64, Canada
2. “I feel as if I have ‘outgrown’ the desire for a marriage (or a ‘partner’). I enjoy the emotional freedom of having platonic friendships in my life. It seems like so many people either want to have a deeply committed (‘sexual’) relationship OR a casual, uncommitted relationship. I feel like I have ‘outgrown’ an interest in having anything other than simple, straightforward, sincere, and genuine platonic friendships in my life, with people I trust and with whom I can share interests and time together.”

—Anonymous, 71, North Carolina
3. “I am older, and after failed relationships for many reasons, I’ve decided that it’s me time about 10 years ago. I can do what I want and eat what I want, and my friends and I see one another regularly and talk daily in a group chat. I do have children, but they are adults and on their own. I enjoy the peace and quiet of reading a book, watching a good movie, cooking a good meal, or just going for a walk. Life as an older unmarried single is nice. I don’t mind it at all.”

“My kids help me if I need them to for heavy things or whatever. If they’re unavailable, I can hire someone to do it for me. I enjoy lawn cutting and snow shoveling, but some people will do it for me if I don’t again. Life is about being happy, and I’m now as happy as ever.”

—Anonymous, 66, Wisconsin
4. “I’ve been married before, and I’ve been single for the last 17 years. I was under the pressure of a few relatives to go back to my ex-husband as they considered being with someone to be safer and better than living by oneself. However, I chose my mental peace over others’ opinions. While I sometimes feel a lack of companionship, I’m surrounded by positive, caring people at work and on personal levels. I have started caring for my well-being by exercising and traveling solo.”

“Human beings in any part of the world are mostly positive, carrying on with their daily struggles with a smile, regardless of gender, caste, religion, language, etc. I have also continued searching for my soulmate, but if things don’t work out, I move on. One can feel lonely in a marital relationship as well. Thus, I plan to continue being single in the future, too, as I have the faith of being with loved ones, whenever needed, in urgent situations.”

—Anonymous, 48, Virginia
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5. “I stayed too long in relationships, trying to prove my worth. After I walked away from my last relationship of six years, I took some time to heal and grow. I have built a life I love, and although I’d be happy to share that with someone, I’m OK if it doesn’t happen. Know your worth and never settle for someone who doesn’t see it.”

—Anonymous, 43, South Carolina
6. “I have been married twice, and I grew out of the marriage each time. We became different people, and I became so lonely in those marriages that we had nothing in common. As time progressed, I had uncommitted relationships, which became strong friendships. I love my independence and being single, and I would NEVER get married again.”

—Anonymous, 79, California
7. “I’m 42. I’ve cohabitated and even been engaged. Apparently, I’m too ambitious and goal-driven. Every time I got a promotion, started working on a project or a goal, or achieved something I was happy about, ex-partners got insecure and then started to humble and belittle me. I used to model, and everything was cool when they thought I’d just be pretty. But when they realize my mind is the most attractive thing about me, they’re over it. My biggest haters have been the men I’ve dated.”

“And I’ve tried to be with ambitious and successful men, but they don’t want to share their spotlight, and they drag me down, too. So, I gave up back in ’22. Since then, not a single man interested in something serious has connected with me. I was told I’m hot enough for some fun, but too old for something real. F@ck it.”

Two people sitting side by side on a couch, both facing forward with their hands on their laps, appearing to be in a tense or awkward situation

8. “I was kind of popular in high school and college. So, I almost always had a girlfriend. Still, as I grew up, I never wanted kids or to get married. As one of my relationships lasted seven years, I felt pressured to ask her to marry, so I did. We decided to go our separate ways six months later. I realized in that relationship that I should never follow other people’s dreams or feel obligated to make theirs into mine. I had a few other relationships, but ultimately, I knew I wouldn’t follow the path they wanted me to go, so I decided to stop looking for the right person.”

“Since then, I have grown economically. I have stopped smoking and drinking. I have worked on my physical health and mental well-being. I feel so amazing that I think that part of me wanting a woman in my life is over. I can’t see myself ever having someone telling me what to do again. So, I stay single and spend my time with family and friends. I learn to enjoy life alone, and people secretly tell me they wish they had my life.”

9. “I never got remarried. I’ve been divorced for 30 years and was married for 14; now, I’m 70. So, I have some insight. I learned to be self-sufficient, handy (thanks, YouTube), and uncompromisingly free. Being single allowed me to delve into activities, interests, and hobbies I know I wouldn’t have had time for if I shared my living space with another person.”

“I remember what it was like to come to an agreement on so many aspects of daily life: meals, free time, holidays, finances, and entertainment. I have traveled the world alone, and without the focus of a traveling companion, I have met some incredible people. My home has been a refuge for many friends who were disgruntled in their relationships. I have never felt lonely or helpless, and I have a strong social network. I am comfortable and satisfied living a life without compromise.”

—Anonymous, 70, Michigan
10. “Relationships are difficult at any age. I was engaged twice — once in my late 20s and another in my mid-30s. I broke up in both relationships. The first one was based on constant lies, and the second one had a problem with alcoholism. If you can’t find a medium of happiness with your partner, what do you have?”

“I agree with others that a peaceful life with friends and family who care is a better alternative if you can’t find true love.”

—Anonymous, 74, Texas
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11. “I lived with someone for six years in my 40s and thought he was the one. He flaked on me due to his insecurities and came back to me a few times. He thought the grass was greener, but it wasn’t. At 60, it’s great to be independent and not deal with anyone’s issues or BS except my own.”

“Cuddles, etc., would be nice. Good thing I work at a doggie daycare! And most of my friends who married in their early 30s are getting divorced in their late 50s.”

12. “I was widowed at 28, and he was such a good, sweet person. We were very close, and he was my soulmate. I remarried a year later, and I don’t regret having another child, but the marriage didn’t work out. I was still grieving and got remarried too soon. After 24 years, I met someone I enjoyed being around, and we married. He began having mental health issues, and during COVID, it was unbearable with the emotional abuse he was inflicting. I asked him to leave. I don’t regret it because this was the first time I’ve ever lived alone, and I’m enjoying learning about myself and getting involved in new things like pickleball and yoga. I don’t need to be married even if I’m lonely sometimes.”

“I’m happy most of the time. Marriage is hard work unless you have a close relationship — and many people don’t want to invest the time and energy into maintaining a good relationship.”

—Anonymous, 64, California
13. “I’m a man who loved having a wife and family. I thought our relationship was OK — we didn’t argue. Our children and my wife had their needs and wants met. Before marriage, we had date nights, but once children arrived, your priority shifts into giving your family the best opportunity to be successful. I take responsibility for being so focused on our children and the demands of family life that our time together became less. My wife had an affair with someone she went to high school with, which I found out with the help of a private investigator. She, of course, denied this, and I suggested counseling for us, but she disagreed. I went alone and realized I wasn’t as great at communicating as I thought. We divorced.”

“We both worked, but I made triple her income, so I got stuck with the debt and became regulated to being a weekend father. Financially, it took years to get back to where I was when I was married. I like living alone, but I have trust issues. I believe there’s someone who can love you for who you are, but I haven’t met that person. But if it’s just a fantasy, I embrace singlehood.”

—Anonymous, 60, Ohio
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14. “I’m not good at relationships and am an introvert. My adult daughter lives with me, but I don’t think my mind will change when that’s not the case. Relationships require more than I am interested in giving.”

—Anonymous, 62, Pennsylvania
15. “I’ve been there, done that. Twenty-five years married. He secretly cheated on me for 15 years, and then, I found him out; he traded me in for a newer, smarter, richer, and younger partner. It made me feel worthless, and I never want a man to make me feel ‘unchosen’ ever again. Now, it’s time to be single. Harness my self-confidence and inner power. It’s a new chapter being single, and I’m good with it.”

—Anonymous, 62, Connecticut
16. “After a series of challenging relationships ending with one that lasted four and a half years, I felt I needed to build a life of my own without someone leeching off of it. My last relationship drained me not only financially but also emotionally. I was determined to rebuild a life I was proud of that didn’t want to rely on another person — or someone relying on me. I wanted to be emotionally healed and free. Very free. At a very young age, I knew I didn’t want children, and perhaps this allowed me to decide unencumbered. I haven’t been in a relationship for close to 25 years.”

“I’ve rebuilt my life so that I can retire. Happy with two cats! This doesn’t mean I haven’t dated, nor does it mean I don’t want to be in a relationship. This journey only gives me the choice to decide upon a relationship where we are both equals.”

—Anonymous, 58, Canada
And finally…
17. “I met my soulmate very young (20), and he died. We never married. But before I met him and after he died, I noticed I was always happy in my company. I never understood people when they talked about being alone and frantically looking for someone. It was like they were speaking another language. I was never lonely and traveled frequently. Eventually, I married because I was pregnant with my then-boyfriend’s child. He became my husband, but we were nothing alike. For the first and only time in my life, I was lonely. It lasted nine years.”

“Since the divorce, I have felt so much more myself. I am interested in everything. I DO NOT want to marry. Maybe if I met another soulmate (highly unlikely since I am now a young 72). I love my life and traveling, and I have good friends and a son who loves me. I like this life better than the married one. That is all.”

—Anonymous, 72, Illinois
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Once-married or never-married older adults who chose to remain single, what led to that decision? Share your story in the comments below. Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can use this Google form.