In 2024, an estimated 80% of Americans reported being in some amount of debt. Also, in 2024, roughly 22% of divorced couples cited money issues as being a key reason behind the end of their marriage.... CLICK TO READ THE FULL NEWS HERE▶▶
Needless to say, discussing finances early and often in your marriage is an essential part of keeping it happy and healthy for both you and your partner, and being upfront about debt in marriage is an important part of that conversation.
It’s understandable that you would not want to have these difficult conversations about money and debt and real-life things while you are still in your blissful newlywed bubble, but the best thing you can do for your marriage is to create space for these tough chats early on.
While these discussions can feel a bit awkward at first, creating an open dialogue around debt and finances will help to save you and your partner from turmoil later down the line.
Understanding how debt in marriage will impact you and your spouse, and creating a plan to manage it empowers you to take control of your debt before it takes control of you.
The impact of debt on marriage
One of the best things about marriage is how it represents the total acceptance of another person.
By agreeing to marry your partner, both of you committed to take on the entirety of the other—good, bad, and ugly. Roped into this acceptance is the acceptance of each other’s financial situations and debt in marriage.
High levels of debt in marriage can put significant strain on a new marriage for several reasons. If you are someone living with any amount of debt, you know the kind of financial stress it brings with it.
Regardless of where this debt comes from or how much of it you have, this stress can negatively impact your marriage, leading to arguments and – if you let it – causing resentment.
4 tips to handle debt as newlyweds
You have the power to prevent these arguments by addressing financial issues and debt early on in your marriage.
By sitting down with your partner and opening up the floor to discuss the debt you both brought into the marriage, the two of you can come at it as a team and create an actionable plan to pull yourselves out of debt.
But how do you have these discussions? What is the best way to talk about debt as newlyweds?
1. Transparency and communication
It might sound cliché, but the first ingredient to these types of conversations really is honesty. Both you and your partner need to commit to full disclosure so that there will be no surprises down the road.
Remember, the two of you are a team now, in every sense of the word. The debt you both brought into your marriage no longer belongs to just the individual, it is shared between the two of you.
By prioritizing transparency and open communication that works to center the two of you as a couple, you are ensuring that the conversation remains ‘you two against the debt’ rather than allowing financial issues to pit you against each other.
Setting joint financial goals is really the key here. Decide on a debt repayment plan that works for both of you and fits into your lifestyle without causing financial strain in other areas. To do this, try creating a timeline for your repayments.
Do you want to be out of this debt in 6 months? A year? These are questions you and your partner need to get clear on and tackle together so that you can take the small steps to make it happen.
Other aspects of this plan could include areas where you will cut back on spending, how much you’re able to put towards debt repayments per paycheck, and how much interest will impact the overall amount you owe.
Furthermore, you should keep up with this commitment to transparency by scheduling regular finance chats with your partner. The conversation around money is a continuous one, and as a married couple there really should never be an end.
Even after you pull yourselves out of debt, the importance of maintaining this financial planning for newly married couples through transparency cannot be overstated.
2. Budgeting to manage debt
Another big part of your debt management plan should be working together to create a budget that leaves room for debt repayments. This budget should include things like weekly grocery expenses, gas, insurance, and more.
As newlyweds, you may have some lofty long term financial goals like buying a house and putting down roots, establishing a travel fund, investing in career development, starting a family, and starting to save for your kids’ college expenses.
Research shows that couples that share their finances have happier marriages, and financial planning for married couples is beneficial for this.
Budgeting is the first step to achieve all of this, however, getting out of debt in marriage first may actually be the best way to tackle these goals in the long-term.
Of course, the financial aspirations that you have as a married couple are important, and your budget should include room to save for them, but if you hold off until after you’re out of debt, you might actually get there faster.
Unless you can easily find the room in your budget for saving while paying off debt, try to prioritize the debt first and savings later.
3. Consider consolidating debt
There are also avenues available to help married couples tackle their debt in marriage together. One of these is to consolidate all your debt into a single account so that you only have one monthly payment to keep track of.
You can do this either by transferring all your balances onto one credit card, or by applying for a personal loan, though going the credit card route might be the easier option.
If you do end up consolidating debt onto a single credit card, there are a few aspects to keep in mind, including:
Make sure that the card you are transferring the debt to has the lowest interest rate among all your cards
Check if the interest rate is subject to change or if it is permanent
Do some research into the possibility of balance transfer fees
Check and see if a balance transfer comes with a promotional interest rate
If there is a promotional rate, consider if you’ll be able to pay off your debt within the promotional period
Consolidating your debt offers several benefits, including lower interest rates, the ability to close unnecessary credit cards so you aren’t tempted to use them, and the potential to raise your credit score. However, there are also some risks to consider.
For instance, unlike other credit cards, if you make any new purchases on the same card, you may not get a grace period before you start accruing interest.
You should also beware of debt consolidation services whose offering seems too good to be true. These offerings might be coming from a debt settlement company and may charge you up-front fees in return for settling your debt.
4. Build better financial habits together
Once you have determined the best debt repayment plan for you and your spouse, it’s time to think about what comes next. How can you avoid ending up back in debt? The answer will look different for every couple, but asking the question is a good place to start.
Together with your partner, you should create a plan to work towards better financial habits. Try to approach this plan from a place of understanding and a genuine desire to build a better financial future for both of you.
Consider both your spending habits and your differing mindsets around money when making this plan, and be realistic about your goals and expectations.
These financial habits could include:
Planning for retirement
Cutting back on monthly expenses like subscription services and insurance rates
Setting an agreed-upon spending limit
Planning for unexpected events and expenses
Remember, this is an opportunity to celebrate your wins and move forward after pulling yourselves out of debt, and by working together to devise a plan that feels right for both of you, you are setting your marriage up for financial success and getting ahead of any money conflicts that could arise in the future.
To learn more about the right way for couples to talk about money, watch this video:
Managing debt as newlyweds
Dealing with debt is never easy, add in the element of being freshly married and the stress can sometimes feel insurmountable.
As long as you are approaching your debt with the intention of overcoming the issue as a couple rather than as individuals trying to place blame or avoid it, you will get through this period of financial stress and be better for it.
There doesn’t need to be any shame in debt in marriage – especially between a newlywed couple – no matter what the reason behind it is.
By taking steps like creating an honest dialogue, devising an actionable plan, budgeting with paying off debt top of mind, and newlyweds financial planning after marriage for a future, you will be able to overcome your debt together and ensure that you remain as debt free as possible going forward.
