Probably familiar with the adage “love is blind.” And it’s sometimes true that romanticism makes it difficult to see the warning signals of a toxic relationship. No pair is perfect, of course, but knowing which actions to avoid might help you establish a satisfying relationship, whether or not it’s with your present S.O.
The partner not prioritizing you can be one of these deal-breakers, as can intimate partner violence (also known as IPV), which can take the form of physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual assault.
In fact, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that nearly one in four women have had some sort of IPV exposure (CDC). And according to sexologist Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., it’s critical to seek assistance in abusive situations as safely as you can. “If there is someone you can contact and ask for help from, do so. She says to Bustle, “You are not a burden. “Ask specifically for what you need if you can. Is it cash? Do you require lodging? Do you really need to be aware of their support for you? Do you require them to leave their phone on and be available?
1. Your Partner Exhibits Controlling Behavior
Maybe your partner attempts to dictate what and when you do things. Or perhaps they expect you to adhere to their principles without hesitation. Your partner may exert control over you in a variety of ways, and O’Reilly maintains that this is not acceptable. They expect you to have the same response because “they want you to feel what they feel when they are experiencing something,” she says Bustle. “That person might be toxic or damaging to your way of life or safety.”
The life, goals, and needs of you and your spouse will inevitably overlap to some degree. For instance, O’Reilly thinks it’s appropriate if your significant other and you have a child together and they require you to check in frequently for co-parenting reasons. However, it’s a warning sign if they constantly want to know where you are and who you are with.
2. Your Spouse Verbally Or Emotionally Abuses You
O’Reilly claims that abusive relationships can occasionally arise from domineering behavior and may include verbal or emotional abuse.
When you try to convey how they make you feel, your spouse may insult you, tease you in front of others, or gaslight you. According to O’Reilly, all of these actions are wrong. She advises consulting a therapist or counselor to help you deal with the abuse and leave the relationship securely if your partner is behaving in this way.
3. Your Partner Abuses You Physically
Physical abuse is another form of IPV, and according to O’Reilly, it is unquestionably cause for breakup. She advises getting in touch with a dependable family member or expert to help you stop the relationship if your partner becomes violent or injures you in any manner.
4. Your Partner Makes You Feel Horrible When You Don’t Want To Have Sex
Although the crime is now acknowledged by legal texts, it still happens, is frequently not reported, and rapists are frequently not found guilty. It is already challenging for survivors of rape to identify it and disclose it, making it all the more challenging to comprehend your significant other as a rapist.
Because of this, it’s crucial to understand that partner or marital rape can occur in otherwise non-violent relationships and to keep in mind that consenting to a sexual act once does not imply that you will consent to it always. Your relationship is abusive, unhealthy, and hazardous if your spouse forces you to have sex with them even when it isn’t what you want to do. For additional assistance regarding partner rape, consult these hotlines and services.
5. Your Partner Isolates You
The attempt to keep you apart from your loved ones and your hobbies is a sign that your partner is attempting to assert their dominance at the expense of your happiness, individualized relationships, and self-care, continues Alomari. Independence is an essential component of any healthy relationship.
There are numerous bad justifications for why people act in this manner. Your partner can try to keep you away from those who would bring up major issues and worries since they know that your friends have valid reasons for disliking the relationship. They can also be jealous of your interactions with other people or insecure themselves. Any spouse that tries to interfere with your personal connections or way of life is not the right one for you.
6. You Have Physical Reactions To Your Partner’s Behavior
Have you ever noticed that you become more nervous around your partner? That’s a further indication that their behavior makes you uncomfortable, which, in O’Reilly’s opinion, is no basis for a relationship. According to her, the body reacts to distress quite instinctively. “Check to see if your body is aware of their entrance into the room.” If you are experiencing stress as a result of your significant other’s actions, it may be time to have a dialogue or end the relationship.
