I remember visiting someone when I was in my mid-twenties. We used to be friends, but started growing apart when I realised that his lifestyle may contaminate my Christian beliefs.….CONTINUE.FULL.READING>>>
I remember visiting someone when I was in my mid-twenties. We used to be friends, but started growing apart when I realised that his lifestyle may contaminate my Christian beliefs. On getting there, I saw his wife heavily pregnant.
I said something like, “Ah madam, I no know say you get belle o.” Her reply was something like, “I don nearly born. But your friend say, I too dey complain. He say I too lazy. He say I suppose to dey strong like him mama when him mama get belle.” Her husband then replied, “Na Jesus she wan born?” They were not quarreling at all.
It took me years to realise that hers was the case of a pregnant woman who needed words of comfort, care, concern and love from her husband, but felt disappointed and sad that she was not going to get it. She probably wanted me to talk to her husband to be soft on her and to love her more. But I thought that she and her husband were entertaining me with those words. How unwise I was to think that a pregnant woman who was crying for emotional support and love from her husband was just entertaining me.
This incidence made me vow to tell men to be more loving and be at their kindest when their wives are pregnant, nursing a baby, lose a pregnancy or a baby or a loved one, having pre-menstrual, menstrual or post-menstrual tension, unusually cranky or she just wants to be loved as any normal lady.
The labour of carrying a pregnancy through delivery and baby care is too much for any woman to bear alone. During such periods and the periods described above, a woman needs what a gospel musician, Mercy Chinwo, called “Excess love” from her husband. Never you quarrel or argue or say hard words to a woman during such periods.
I wrote in this column long ago of how my departed parents-in-law, Bishop Michael and Reverend (Mrs.) Rachel Marioghae ate dinner with a pastor and his wife where they were invited to minister. As they ate, Bishop Marioghae told the pastor’s wife that her meal was very delicious. After some seconds of complete silence, she started crying.
As the woman kept crying, my father-in-law had to apologise in case she misunderstood his words of commendation. The wailing woman then said that she was crying because since she got married many years ago, her husband had never commended or thanked her for her cooking.
This made me learn and since I got married I have never eaten any meal cooked by my wife, my daughters, my caterers or my hosts and hostesses without looking for something good about the meal to commend on and to thank them for. But Bishop, “What if the meal is totally bad?” I will say something like this, “Thank you for all the labour and time put in to prepare this meal.” No correction? Look for a better time for a self-esteem building way of making your wife or daughter see how they can cook better. Handle the labour of your loved ones with love. Love you!….CONTINUE.FULL.READING>>>